Our Children And Stress
By
Quentin Ted Smith, M.D.
&
Jennie C. Trotter,M.ED.
March 1988





Few would argue that the modern individual is beset with multiple stresses (biological, environment, vocational, familial, etc.).  Too often, however, such stresses are discussed as though they only affect adults.  The study of stress on children has only recently received the attention and discussion it deserves in the lay and scientific press.

 

Reasons why the effects of stress on children are often ignored:



1) Denial: Adults sometimes find it difficult to accept that childhood is a time when children may undergo stress and other kinds of problems.  As a way of dealing with their discomfort about childhood problems, adults may deny that serious problems exist, or if problems do exists, that they are really not seen as very serious.

2) There is a tendency to view adult stresses as more important than stresses in children.  Some adults may tend to see problems that children have as relatively minor and nowhere approaching the magnitude of stress felt by adults.  This can be illustrated by the example of a child who comes to his parents with a problem indicating that the child is experiencing stress.  The father may respond to the child's problems by saying that if the child really wanted to know what stress is all about, then the father can certainly tell him.  The father goes on to tell the child about the father's boss being on his back, bills being behind, the wife being overly demanding about material things, and the children being a nuisance with their unreasonable behavior and demands.  The child goes away with the message that stresses encountered by adults are certainly much more important than problems that children encounter.  The child may then keep feelings related to stress to himself because he has, in comparison to an adult, no right to complain.

3) The unrealistic portrayal of childhood by the media, which tends to glamorize childhood and provide happy endings to even difficult problems, may be a factor in terms of why stress in children is often overlooked. This romanticized vision, by adults, of childhood as a carefree time filled with fun and play and lack of responsibility or serious concerns, makes stress in childhood an event that appears to occur only on rare occasions.

Definition of Stress:



Some would define stress as our reaction to the ups and downs of everyday life.  Others might define stress as worry, pressure, tension, etc.  Stress is defined as the non-specific response of the body to any demand placed on it, by Dr. Hans Seyle.  In other words, anything that causes a "change or a reaction" in your body is called stress.  Despite the popular notion that stress is bad stress, if it occurs in the proper amount, stress can be good and contribute to growth and healthy coping skills in children.  When a child is given the proper amount of support and has a positive attitude, stress can be perceived as a very productive experience or "good stress".  For example, a child preparing for a new school may experience some stress.  If the child has a good self-image, a positive attitude and receives the necessary support and encouragement from his/her parents, the stress from this adjustment may be very minimal.  The stress from this situation can also be considered "good stress" since the child is properly prepared (mentally and emotionally) to handle this stress positively.  On the other hand, a child who has a poor self-concept, a fearful attitude and hasn't received the proper support from his/her parents might experience "bad stress" from this situation because very little has been done to prepare him/her to adequately handle the stress.

Stressors:



Situations and events that cause stress are called stressors.  Examples of some common stressors are:

1) The birth of a sibling

2) The death; separation or divorce of a parent

3) Change in schools

4) Moving to a new neighborhood

5) Physical illness

6) Violence in the home or neighborhood

7) Poverty

8) Discrimination

9) Physical or emotional illness of parent(s)

10) Parents addicted to alcohol or drugs

11) The death of a pet

12) Getting a new teacher in school

Neutrality of Stress:



Stressors are usually neutral.  We make them good or bad by our attitudes, beliefs and/or thoughts. It is very important to encourage and help children develop positive attitudes and thoughts about life in general.  As adults, we should be overseers in our children's lives by making sure that they have the right combination of stress that is needed to make their lives challenging, productive and pleasant.  Involving our children in more positive experiences and allowing them to make decisions and solve problems with our guidance, can build their self-esteem and improve their decision-making skills.  This will help them deal more effectively with life's stressors as they encounter them in the future.

Distress:



Distress occurs when stress is acute or chronic and is overwhelming and exceeds the child's capacity to cope appropriately.  In general, most children do well under normal stress, but when stress is prolonged and mismanaged, it can prove detrimental to child's physical and emotional well-being.  Depending on the severity, the intensity and the duration, distress can cause serious physical and psychological damage to children.  Distress develops when there is no release or outlet to reduce stress in a child's life.  For example, a child becomes fearful of a boy at school who has threatened him/her.  The child is afraid to tell anyone about the bully.  Feelings of anxiety and fear build up in the child.  The child has no outlet to release these feelings of stress and after a period of time, physical symptoms may begin to show, such as nail biting, nightmares, bed-wetting, poor concentration, etc.  The child may also develop other somatic symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, etc., to avoid school.  The continuation of this problem could cause serious effects of distress if proper intervention is not provided.  Some determinants of a child's reaction to stress:

1) The speed of onset of the stress.  If stress has an acute onset, that is, an onset that occurs very rapidly, the child may not have a chance to adjust to the stress and as a result, may perceive the stress as overwhelming.  Stresses that come on over a long period of time and that is more chronic in nature may allow the child to adapt and adjust to the stressor.

2) The perception of the stress by a child may have some bearing on the child's reaction to the stress.  There are some situations that may be perceived by some children as relatively unimportant and non-stressful, while for other children, the same event may be viewed as stressful or distressing. In other words, the child's perception of the stressor will, in part, color his/her reaction to that particular stressor.

3) The magnitude of the stress has some bearing on a child's reaction.  A child faced with small stresses may be able to cope with them in an adaptive fashion.  Stresses that overwhelm the child's capacity to cope in a healthy fashion may have a disabling and destructive effect on the child.  The child's innate capacity to deal with stress is another factor in determining the child's reaction.  Some children innately will have the biological equipment to deal with relatively large amounts of stress. We are all familiar with the child who grows up in a chaotic environment and yet the child seems to cope and adapt and grow in this unhealthy environment.  We are also aware of other children who do not seem to have the biological equipment to handle stress appropriately and respond to relatively low levels of stress in dysfunctional ways.

4) The reaction of the caretakers to a stressful situation may have some bearing on the child's reaction as well.  Adults who deal with stressful situations by attempting to be calm and supportive of the child may transmit a feeling of safety and comfort to the child experiencing stress.  Those parents who react with anxiety and disorganization may transmit that anxiety and disorganization to the child.

5) The age of the child is another factor in determining the child's ability to cope with stress. Younger children have less cognitive development and so may be overwhelmed by stresses that older children would handle more appropriately.  As the child grows older and has more cognitive capacity, the child may be better equipped to deal with stresses that the child had difficulty dealing with at an earlier age.

Signs and Symptoms of Stress:

 

 

  • Rapid heart beat
  • stomach aches
  • nervousness
  • headaches
  • nausea
  • bed wetting
  • frequent urination

 

Physical:

  • insomnia
  • diarrhea
  • sweaty hands
  • perspiration
  • rapid breathing
  • nightmares

Mental:

 

  • Forgetfulness
  • poor concentration
  • irrational thinking
  • drop in school performance
  • disorientation











Emotional:

 

  • Lack of interest
  • angry outbursts
  • irritability
  • fearfulness
  • depression and crying

Behavioral:

 

  • Wanting to be alone
  • nail biting, fighting
  • aggressive behavior
  • withdrawn behavior
  • increase or decrease in appetite
  • lack of energy and clinging










Solutions for Children's Stress

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