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Our Children
And Stress |
Few would argue that the modern individual is beset with multiple stresses (biological, environment, vocational, familial, etc.). Too often, however, such stresses are discussed as though they only affect adults. The study of stress on children has only recently received the attention and discussion it deserves in the lay and scientific press.
Reasons why the effects of stress on children are often ignored:
1) Denial: Adults sometimes find it difficult to
accept that childhood is a time when children may undergo stress and other
kinds of problems. As a way of dealing
with their discomfort about childhood problems, adults may deny that serious
problems exist, or if problems do exists, that they are really not seen as very
serious.
2) There is a tendency to view adult stresses as more important than stresses
in children. Some adults may tend to
see problems that children have as relatively minor and nowhere approaching the
magnitude of stress felt by adults. This
can be illustrated by the example of a child who comes to his parents with a
problem indicating that the child is experiencing stress. The father may respond to the child's
problems by saying that if the child really wanted to know what stress is all
about, then the father can certainly tell him. The father goes on to tell the child about the father's boss being
on his back, bills being behind, the wife being overly demanding about material
things, and the children being a nuisance with their unreasonable behavior and
demands. The child goes away with the
message that stresses encountered by adults are certainly much more important
than problems that children encounter. The
child may then keep feelings related to stress to himself because he has, in
comparison to an adult, no right to complain.
3) The unrealistic portrayal of childhood by the media, which tends to
glamorize childhood and provide happy endings to even difficult problems, may
be a factor in terms of why stress in children is often overlooked. This
romanticized vision, by adults, of childhood as a carefree time filled with fun
and play and lack of responsibility or serious concerns, makes stress in
childhood an event that appears to occur only on rare occasions.
Definition of Stress:
Some would define stress as our reaction to the ups and downs of everyday life.
Others might define stress as worry,
pressure, tension, etc. Stress is
defined as the non-specific response of the body to any demand placed on it, by
Dr. Hans Seyle. In other words,
anything that causes a "change or a reaction" in your body is called
stress. Despite the popular notion that
stress is bad stress, if it occurs in the proper amount, stress can be good and
contribute to growth and healthy coping skills in children. When a child is given the proper amount of
support and has a positive attitude, stress can be perceived as a very
productive experience or "good stress". For example, a child preparing for a new school may experience
some stress. If the child has a good
self-image, a positive attitude and receives the necessary support and
encouragement from his/her parents, the stress from this adjustment may be very
minimal. The stress from this situation
can also be considered "good stress" since the child is properly
prepared (mentally and emotionally) to handle this stress positively. On the other hand, a child who has a poor
self-concept, a fearful attitude and hasn't received the proper support from
his/her parents might experience "bad stress" from this situation
because very little has been done to prepare him/her to adequately handle the
stress.
Stressors:
Situations and events that cause stress are called stressors. Examples of some common stressors are:
1) The birth of a sibling
2) The death; separation or divorce of a parent
3) Change in schools
4) Moving to a new neighborhood
5) Physical illness
6) Violence in the home or neighborhood
7) Poverty
8) Discrimination
9) Physical or emotional illness of parent(s)
10) Parents addicted to alcohol or drugs
11) The death of a pet
12) Getting a new teacher in school
Neutrality of Stress:
Stressors are usually neutral. We make
them good or bad by our attitudes, beliefs and/or thoughts. It is very
important to encourage and help children develop positive attitudes and
thoughts about life in general. As
adults, we should be overseers in our children's lives by making sure that they
have the right combination of stress that is needed to make their lives
challenging, productive and pleasant. Involving
our children in more positive experiences and allowing them to make decisions
and solve problems with our guidance, can build their self-esteem and improve
their decision-making skills. This will
help them deal more effectively with life's stressors as they encounter them in
the future.
Distress:
Distress occurs when stress is acute or chronic and is overwhelming and exceeds
the child's capacity to cope appropriately. In general, most children do well under normal stress, but when
stress is prolonged and mismanaged, it can prove detrimental to child's
physical and emotional well-being. Depending
on the severity, the intensity and the duration, distress can cause serious
physical and psychological damage to children. Distress develops when there is no release or outlet to reduce
stress in a child's life. For example,
a child becomes fearful of a boy at school who has threatened him/her. The child is afraid to tell anyone about the
bully. Feelings of anxiety and fear
build up in the child. The child has no
outlet to release these feelings of stress and after a period of time, physical
symptoms may begin to show, such as nail biting, nightmares, bed-wetting, poor
concentration, etc. The child may also
develop other somatic symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, etc., to avoid
school. The continuation of this
problem could cause serious effects of distress if proper intervention is not
provided. Some determinants of a
child's reaction to stress:
1) The speed of onset of the stress. If
stress has an acute onset, that is, an onset that occurs very rapidly, the
child may not have a chance to adjust to the stress and as a result, may
perceive the stress as overwhelming. Stresses
that come on over a long period of time and that is more chronic in nature may
allow the child to adapt and adjust to the stressor.
2) The perception of the stress by a child may have some bearing on the child's
reaction to the stress. There are some
situations that may be perceived by some children as relatively unimportant and
non-stressful, while for other children, the same event may be viewed as
stressful or distressing. In other words, the child's perception of the stressor
will, in part, color his/her reaction to that particular stressor.
3) The magnitude of the stress has some bearing on a child's reaction. A child faced with small stresses may be able
to cope with them in an adaptive fashion. Stresses that overwhelm the child's capacity to cope in a healthy
fashion may have a disabling and destructive effect on the child. The child's innate capacity to deal with
stress is another factor in determining the child's reaction. Some children innately will have the
biological equipment to deal with relatively large amounts of stress. We are
all familiar with the child who grows up in a chaotic environment and yet the
child seems to cope and adapt and grow in this unhealthy environment. We are also aware of other children who do
not seem to have the biological equipment to handle stress appropriately and
respond to relatively low levels of stress in dysfunctional ways.
4) The reaction of the caretakers to a stressful situation may have some
bearing on the child's reaction as well. Adults who deal with stressful situations by attempting to be calm
and supportive of the child may transmit a feeling of safety and comfort to the
child experiencing stress. Those
parents who react with anxiety and disorganization may transmit that anxiety
and disorganization to the child.
5) The age of the child is another factor in determining the child's ability to
cope with stress. Younger children have less cognitive development and so may
be overwhelmed by stresses that older children would handle more appropriately.
As the child grows older and has more
cognitive capacity, the child may be better equipped to deal with stresses that
the child had difficulty dealing with at an earlier age.
Signs and Symptoms of Stress:
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Physical:
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Mental:
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Emotional:
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Behavioral:
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